i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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