I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
