Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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