bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
please come you make the beer taste better
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
