Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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