Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Enjoy the penises
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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