You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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