I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I need a hoe opinion
go on
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
