thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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