So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
