i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize