omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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