I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
