your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
