i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
