try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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