Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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