So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
