i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
