im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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