y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
