We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
