doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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