It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
