FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
