I showed him my bush... on skype.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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