oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
