Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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