It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
