I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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