Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
