it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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