He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just blew my weed a kiss
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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