i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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