we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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