I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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