I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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