This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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