Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
