So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
