Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
