she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
