what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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