god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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