Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize