I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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