Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She's the barista slut.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
