you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize