Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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