Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
NoShamevember. You game?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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