once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
