Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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