this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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