oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
