What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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