You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
