I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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