Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
