So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
