Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
