My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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