I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
