I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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