i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
