Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
well you can't waste a boner
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
