He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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